I am really struggling with this one. I facilitate a youth mass once
a month, with a group of young people. While most of their parents
seem happily married, I know that it is not the case for a number of
young people who attend our monthly mass. I really struggle, when
reading this in conjuction with Mark 10:2-16 to not make those young
people from split families feel worse about their home situation. I
find it hard, as I also work in child protection services, where
most young people there do not live with their parents, and some are
unable to even have their parents in the same room safely.
Terri from Brisbane, Australia
Terri from Brisbane, Australia
My, you are considering this text early.
Even in homes that have suffered a divorce or where the marriage is
not completely happy, we must share with our teens what God's ideal
is - that a man and woman who are married should remain married for
life.
I've been married 29 years and people I talk to say how amazed they
are. We ought NOT to be amazed. A promise was made and kept. Isn't
that the way it's supposed to be? It's like saying, "I'm amazed that
you've gone so long without robbing a bank."
Teens must, however, be shown that the difficulty in their homes is
not their fault, and really that the laying of blame is not
constructive at all. They can see the pain their parents suffered
over the divorce is something they ought to avoid for their own
lives so when they do choose that life partner, they must choose
wisely.
When God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will
make him a helper as his partner," He was saying man is incomplete.
Orthdox Jews believe an unmarried man is half a man.
When I taught teens, I taught them this principle - marry someone
who completes you. This is not always someone with whom you have
everything in common (though some commonality is essential), but
someone who is strong where you are weak, and weak where you are
strong - someone who fills in your own missing pieces and whose
missing pieces you fill. Don't marry the person you want - marry the
person you need.
What is horrible about our society is that divorce is presented as a
normal thing. It ought not to be. It is an abnormal thing which
should never happen. It is painful - pain shouldn't be normal.
Young people may say, "So maybe I shouldn't get married to avoid
divorce." My reply - "So maybe you shouldn't eat to avoid tooth
decay." No. To avoid tooth decay, we brush and floss. To avoid
divorce, we marry someone who completes us (trusting God to bring us
to that person) and we nurture and care for that relationship.
Divorce is painful and children bear all too much of that pain. Let
us give them the ideal and NOT teach that divorce is inevitable. It
isn't.
JG in WI
Terri, don't struggle, just pray and God will lead you. You have to
state the truth. That GOD did create man and woman to be one flesh
in marriage... But, after the curse, that all come undone, you said
you do youth mass, so you're Catholic, you believe in St Augustine's
Original Sin. So, that shouldn't be a Problem for you. I am myself
am from a Pelagious viewpoint. Men do things that doesnt ever mean
to come pass, like abuse their wives, and kids...God Created the
Wives and Kids to be cherished so God didnt create them to be
abused, so because then husband isnt acting like preist of household
, they are released... that should make broken family situation feel
better, and you can substitute an abusive wife to her husband too...
I am female , so I use Hubby first LOL.
OR, take this symbolic in the Genesis story to be a image,
representation of Christ.... Christ had 1st coming- came as man to
redeem us by way of the cross. 2nd coming is a given has to happen-
the completion of the 2nd coming is represented in the feamle. (that
doesnt mean Jesus coming back as a girl either) Represents
completion, the circle, Man and woman ONE FLESH... GOD's IMAGE
right? That symbolism then in Christ context 1st coming and 2nd
coming to be fully completed, fulfillment! Clerically_Blonde in West
Ohio
Pleasently surprized that discussion is happening. I too have been
married I think now for 37 years. I thorughly enjoyed your
reflection about robbing a bank. Maybe we have made too light about
promises... now, the part I like about this is the word "partner",
that is an egalitarian word. Both have responsibility, both have
authority, both work together. It is interesting amobeas split in to
two. nobody calls one amobea the first authority, they actually
become two new individuals. Don't have a clue how this ties into
World Communion Sunday and that is my theme. Nancy-Wi
I think that this passage can be seen in a broader contest than just
husband-wife. It is not good for us to be alone. As Christians, we
are made to be in communion with others. -- Carrie in NY
Carrie in NY -- I like your thinking! I am planning to preach on
Hebrews, but I may do something in conjunction with the Genesis
text. Thanks for the idea! Blessings, Desiree in Sacramento
Genesis 2 stresses that people are not meant to live in isolation
but in relationship. While speaking of the unity of a man and a
woman, the focus of this reading is on human community more broadly
considered. Ultimately what unites the man and the woman is their
common humanity
I was taught in seminary that because Woman came out of man, and man
is born from woman, that it creates a mutually interdependent
relationship, not a hierarchical one. I think so many of the
problems in marriage today is the fact that too many are into the
"Lord it over" mindset of relationships, like the necessity is to
have one person have power over the other,instead of a mutually
interdependent one. If you look at the words in greek in 1 cor. 11
about headship, the word for head is Source, like the head of a
river is a source of water for the river. That speaks to me of the
mutual interdependence that began at creation. The marriages that I
see that are healthy, are ones that follow this kind of a model, and
have no need to control their spouse. It is so much more healthy.
Susan in Wa.
