What's Love Got to Do With It?
a message based on  John 13:34-35; Mat 5:23-24
by Rev . Frank Schaefer

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."  John 13:34-35

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. Mat 5:23-24

I must be getting old(er), because I honestly don't remember Valentine's Day to be such a big deal when I was growing up. I've heard it said that the chocolate and flower retailers were responsible for making this holiday as prominent as it is today. Be that as it may I think it's a wonderful idea to have a designated day for the celebration of romantic love.

Let's not forget that romantic love too is a gift from God. The New Testament words for love are philios ("brotherly love"), agape, ("divine love") and eros ("romantic love")--the latter being just as much part of God's gifts and graces than the former two. Yet, we often feel funny about even mentioning romance in church. Heaven forbid we should hear the s _ _ word in a sermon.

Speaking of that, I recently presided over a wedding of a young couple that held a little surprise for me at the end. When I gave the couple the green light to kiss after pronouncing them husband and wife, I didn't expect to become a witness to the longest, most passionate kiss (if you know what I mean) up close and personal. I'm pretty sure I blushed.

Valentine's Day could easily be claimed as a Christian holiday. I think most people are aware of the fact that Valentine's Day has roots in Christian popular celebration of God's gift of romantic love. St. Valentine is the patron Saint of lovers and as legend has it, he was a priest who performed secret marriage ceremonies in Rome when Christian marriages were unlawful. One night Valentine was caught, thrown in jail and sentenced to die. But many young people came to the jail to visit him. They threw flowers and notes up to his window. After his execution a note was found in his cell addressed to a friend which he had signed with "Love from your Valentine." This is a Christian legend, but as we know, every legend has roots in some historic truth.
I for one want to make a case for using Valentine's Day as an opportunity today to speak about romantic love and love in general. We need to remember that if we don't teach about romantic love in church, our kids will learn about it "on the street." We could simply miss our chance to tell God's side of the story.

What is God's side of the story? Traditionally, Christians have made a strong point about sexual relationships belonging into a committed, lasting relationship. And that certainly is not only a good spiritual principle, but it also appeals to one's common-sense, knowing the emotional pain that usually follows when two lovers break up.

Another point theology has made has to do with waiting for the one person that God has created to be our perfect partner and to pray for finding that person. I think this doctrine is most romantic, it captures the imagination and hopes of many people--especially in a culture that cheapens romantic love.
While popular culture has not abandoned the ideal of finding the right person, our kids are also told that there is nothing wrong with dating a lot of different people. The message is: "Go ahead and date "Mr. Right Now" while searching for "Mr. Right."

What a terrible thing it must be to find out that you've been "Mr. Right Now" for your lover all along when you thought of her as the love of your life. I can't imagine the pain that such a betrayal and deception must cause. With attitudes like that, it is no wonder more than 50 per cent of our marriages end in divorce.
We can also take Valentine's Day as an opportunity to teach about love toward God and love of neighbor.
One custom I really like about Valentine's Day is that we encourage our younger school children to bring valentine treats for everyone to class - not just for friends, not just for the popular kids, but for everyone. Now that's a Biblical principle!

It doesn't matter if that person said something nasty about you at recess last week. You bring every member of the class a valentine's treat. Love isn't about preference, or about who is your friend. Love is unconditional. That's the kind of love God has for us. And, of course, that's how Jesus loved his disciples. So when Jesus said: "Love one another, as I have loved you," he was making an appeal to us to love others like God loves us.

Valentine's Day is a great opportunity to show love to everyone--even to our enemies. Valentine's Day gives us a great "excuse" to talk to those whom you may have had an argument with or those whom you haven't talked to in a long time. It's a great opportunity to not only give, but to forgive
If we speak about Biblical love, we can hardly leave out forgiveness. In Christian theology one of the defining characteristics of God's love is that God forgives us our sins, which then frees us to be able to forgive others and to improve our relationship with them. Love always gives and always forgives!

We're usually doing better with giving than with forgiving. But our love is not God's kind of love if we don't learn to forgive others! Jesus says: "before you bring your gift to the altar, be reconciled to your brother (and I'm pretty sure he meant sisters too)."

How quickly do we get offended at something others say or do? Interestingly, it is so much easier for us to get offended at those who are close to us. When a perfect stranger calls me an idiot, I can just brush it off. Except maybe on the road during heavy traffic (I think it takes a special grace of God to be a good Christian in traffic).

Let us use Valentine's Day as an opportunity to make amends with a family member or a neighbor or a "former" friend, let us show our love to one another and let us teach our children about true love and commitment in relationships. After all, God is concerned about us and our relationships--and so should we.

Happy Valentine's Day!

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Historic background of Valentines Day:

The legend of St. Valentine stems from real-life martyrs from the Roman Empire known as Valentines. It is unsure who was the St. Valentine; there are at least two candidates: One of them is believed to have been a Roman priest and physician killed in the third century, during the persecutions of the Emperor Claudius II Gothicus. After his death this Valentine was apparently buried in the Roman road Via Flaminia. Pope Julius I is said to have later built a basilica above his grave. A second St. Valentine candidate believed to be a bishop of Teni who was also executed in Rome.

These men's status comes from legends of harboring Christians from persecution, curing the blindness of a cell keeper's daughter, and conducting Christian marriages while they were forbidden by the government. It is perhaps this last repute that made St. Valentine the patron saint of lovers.